Please pull up to the next window for your total.

May I rant for a few moments?

Drive-thrus. While I am opposed to torture and inhumane treatment, I still think that the inventor of the drive-thru window should be hung upside down by his toenails and forced to listen to Taylor Swift and Amy Winehouse all day long. And then, we should give him a life sentence. 

As if it isn't bad enough that people are even eating the food that's most often served at drive-thru windows, now they're given the option to sit lazily in their cars while they purchase said nutritional atom bombs. I thought we were trying to fix the obesity epidemic in our society. How, exactly, is giving people another option to be lazy going to help?

Also, most people don't know how to act at drive-thru windows. No one knows anything about drive-thru etiquette, so drive-thrus are really just horrible experiences for most people involved. At least, definitely for the person manning them. In order to assist with this problem, I have come up some of the most annoying things people do at drive-thru windows (I have definitely been in a list mood lately. Odd.) :

• They talk on their phones. I'm sorry, but I can't see your phone, so I definitely have no idea that you're talking to your wife and asking her what she wants from the drive-thru. It's obnoxious and rude. Get all your asking done before you pull up to order. 
• They specify that the order is "to go." Okay, this isn't bad etiquette so much as it is people just being completely dumb. Most of the time it's actually kind of amusing. One of these days, I think I just might make someone's drive-thru order for here and then insist that they didn't specify. Dumb people can be funny. 
• They have noisy cars. Oh this is terrible, but it's especially terrible because people don't seem to notice that their cars are so noisy. Thus, when they pull up to the window, they tell you (very angrily) that your speaker sucks and you should get it fixed. I'm sorry. That is definitely my fault. I'll go out and rewire it immediately. TURN YOUR CAR OFF!
• They honk their horns because the line isn't moving fast enough. Really? If you were inside, would you honk your horn, or at least mimic a horn honking, due to the speed of the line? This is just downright rude. If you really don't like waiting, make food at home instead of going to a drive-thru.
• They drive away right after their order is filled. Evidently, the line was taking too long, so instead of honking their horn, they just up and leave. And of course they have to wait until there's only one car in front of them to make their departure. Really? Fail. That's probably the nicest thing I can think to say.
• The wait until they drive up to the window to place their order. This is probably the WORST thing you can do at a drive-thru window. If you do this, you might as well just come inside and stop being so lazy, because this absolutely defeats the entire purpose of a drive-thru. It throws the whole system off and you actually end up having to wait longer, as do all the people behind you. If you do this, your drive-thru privileges should be revoked.
  

This list is very incomplete. 

I hate drive-thrus, obviously. I hate going through them myself and I hate the way people act when they go through them. I think people just make them way more complicated than they have to be, which just stresses everyone out. In theory, I guess I understand the attraction, but the execution of drive-thrus is highly obnoxious. Sometimes, a very nice person will come through the drive-thru. Other times, a very nice AND attractive person will come through. Mostly, the meanest people go through the drive-thru. 

The best thing about drive-thrus is having two employees talking to the customers at once. Especially if they'll hear alternating between male and female voices. Sometimes the customers will confusedly question it. Other times, they're simply too, ahem, preoccupied to notice. 

Either way, do everyone involved a favor and boycott the drive-thru. Thank you. That felt good.