AAAAACHHOOOOOO. Ugh.

I decided I wanted to make a blog post. That's really how most (if not all) of my blog posts come into being. I just randomly decide I want to make one and I just do it. What if children happened that way? Someone just decides they want one, and then boom, there one is. It's a good thing the making of children takes much more cooperation. ahem. 

For the purposes of this post, however, I think I want to ramble about sneezes. 

David has just sneezed roughly twenty times in a thirty second time frame. I believe that is a problem he should go get looked at. 

I hate sneezes. 

I hate having to sneeze when I'm talking to people. And that is always when I have to sneeze the most. When I'm all by myself, sneezes never take the time to come upon me. It is only when I'm in the middle of a sentence or a quiet room that they think I deserve to sneeze. I hate it when people sneeze on me. It's gross. In sophomore year of high school, I had a job watching about fifteen two year olds once a week. They always sneezed on me. Little kid sneezes are far from cute. They're gross. I think that experience scarred me for life, as well as giving me an anti-sneeze bias. 

I always feel bad for people with lots of allergies, who sneeze constantly. Being in a room with them and all their sneezes makes me very claustrophobic. I once knew a boy who sneezed ten times in a row without stopping. I couldn't stand it. 

Whoever invented sneezing anyway? It's really one of the odder functions of the human body. Couldn't we survive with coughs alone? Coughs don't bother me. You and I can cough all we want. Just please, no sneezing. 

The moment leading up to a sneeze is the worst. You know it's coming, and you're frightened. The anticipation leading up to the culminating moment of the actual, physical sneeze is one of the most stress-filled, phobia inducing anticipations one can experience. There is really very little you can do to stop it. Even if you do manage to stop it this time, it's only going to come back in a few hours at the most. And when it comes back, it's going to be bigger and more obnoxious than before. Oh the anticipation. If we could do without the anticipation, then thirty percent of the problem would be solved. The other seventy percent is the sneezes themselves. 

I guess there really isn't anyone I can blame for sneezes, though. I think that's what upsets me the most about them. It's somewhat of a comfort if you can get angry at something or someone in specific. Actually, it's very comforting to be able to do that. I haven't sneezed since last night, though, so hopefully I can go the entire day without sneezing. I'm going to beat the system on this one. I'll let you know how I do. 

Please pull up to the next window for your total.

May I rant for a few moments?

Drive-thrus. While I am opposed to torture and inhumane treatment, I still think that the inventor of the drive-thru window should be hung upside down by his toenails and forced to listen to Taylor Swift and Amy Winehouse all day long. And then, we should give him a life sentence. 

As if it isn't bad enough that people are even eating the food that's most often served at drive-thru windows, now they're given the option to sit lazily in their cars while they purchase said nutritional atom bombs. I thought we were trying to fix the obesity epidemic in our society. How, exactly, is giving people another option to be lazy going to help?

Also, most people don't know how to act at drive-thru windows. No one knows anything about drive-thru etiquette, so drive-thrus are really just horrible experiences for most people involved. At least, definitely for the person manning them. In order to assist with this problem, I have come up some of the most annoying things people do at drive-thru windows (I have definitely been in a list mood lately. Odd.) :

• They talk on their phones. I'm sorry, but I can't see your phone, so I definitely have no idea that you're talking to your wife and asking her what she wants from the drive-thru. It's obnoxious and rude. Get all your asking done before you pull up to order. 
• They specify that the order is "to go." Okay, this isn't bad etiquette so much as it is people just being completely dumb. Most of the time it's actually kind of amusing. One of these days, I think I just might make someone's drive-thru order for here and then insist that they didn't specify. Dumb people can be funny. 
• They have noisy cars. Oh this is terrible, but it's especially terrible because people don't seem to notice that their cars are so noisy. Thus, when they pull up to the window, they tell you (very angrily) that your speaker sucks and you should get it fixed. I'm sorry. That is definitely my fault. I'll go out and rewire it immediately. TURN YOUR CAR OFF!
• They honk their horns because the line isn't moving fast enough. Really? If you were inside, would you honk your horn, or at least mimic a horn honking, due to the speed of the line? This is just downright rude. If you really don't like waiting, make food at home instead of going to a drive-thru.
• They drive away right after their order is filled. Evidently, the line was taking too long, so instead of honking their horn, they just up and leave. And of course they have to wait until there's only one car in front of them to make their departure. Really? Fail. That's probably the nicest thing I can think to say.
• The wait until they drive up to the window to place their order. This is probably the WORST thing you can do at a drive-thru window. If you do this, you might as well just come inside and stop being so lazy, because this absolutely defeats the entire purpose of a drive-thru. It throws the whole system off and you actually end up having to wait longer, as do all the people behind you. If you do this, your drive-thru privileges should be revoked.
  

This list is very incomplete. 

I hate drive-thrus, obviously. I hate going through them myself and I hate the way people act when they go through them. I think people just make them way more complicated than they have to be, which just stresses everyone out. In theory, I guess I understand the attraction, but the execution of drive-thrus is highly obnoxious. Sometimes, a very nice person will come through the drive-thru. Other times, a very nice AND attractive person will come through. Mostly, the meanest people go through the drive-thru. 

The best thing about drive-thrus is having two employees talking to the customers at once. Especially if they'll hear alternating between male and female voices. Sometimes the customers will confusedly question it. Other times, they're simply too, ahem, preoccupied to notice. 

Either way, do everyone involved a favor and boycott the drive-thru. Thank you. That felt good.

Rocks and stuff

The semester is almost over. While I should be practicing a speech, I decided to instead give another quick top ten list. As I was looking through my notes from my geology class, I came across the most important things said by the instructor thus far. At least, they were important enough for me to write down. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, or at the very least find it amusing.

The Geology Top Ten

10. "Now, this rock has excellent cleavage." [cue Jenny's laughter row two.]

9. "Believe it or not, you can kill someone with only a pencil."

8. "People just keep diddling with the environment!"

7. "Now, I'm sure you all are familiar with Wisconsin."

6."For those of you who are musically minded, da da dum doo dee da da."

5. "Just let the beavers do their thing."

4. "We're living on a giant Tums."

3. "Now what kind of rock is this? I'll give you a hint: IT AIN'T GRANITE!"

2. "Give yourselves a pat on the head for surviving the wet one."

And the number one quote from geology:

"Now, this has nothing to do with geology..."

And, that's basically how the Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays of my spring semester have been spent. They're almost over. Peace.